David Starkey Condemns Black Comedy

David Starkey yesterday

Following his outburst on Newsnight last week, David Starkey, the flamboyant and not at all racist historian, has turned his sights on comedy culture in an attempt to further explain what makes young people destroy and steal when there's no sign of police enforcing the law or any authority in their lives.

"Some people simplistically blame the lack of a robust police response early on during the riots, or the complete lack of authority and discipline in many young people's lives nowadays". Explains the camp past events expert.

CCTV Footage From Last Week's "Events"

"As Ed Miliband says, it's far more complicated than that. But even someone as insightful and clear nosed as Ed hasn't got it completely right. As I explained on Newsnight, some elements of black culture are part of the problem, especially the adoption of Jamaican Patois by whites. It is no coincidence that the popularity of the children's television programme, Rastamouse peeked just before the riots occurred. In my opinion, that mouse has made a bad ting worse". The grey haired lover of the olden days' attempt at a Jamaican accent with Rastamouse's catch phrase was surprisingly good.

Makin' a bad ting worse

"But further to my original analysis, I now see that there are other colour based influences on youth culture and the decline in moral standards. The main one being black humour. The general cynicism plus lack of respect for death that it engenders undermines respect for societies norms and common decently. Just as saying 'init' instead of 'is it not' does", enthused the man of the eld.

But, I ask, is there any hue of humour that doesn't worsen delinquency in our weak minded young people?

"Blue humour." Answers the diminutive chronicler of yore.

"You can't imagine the likes of Roy "Chubby" Brown, Bernard Manning or Jim "Chalky" Davidson causing social unrest, can you?"