Thursday, September 23, 2010

Safe Sex In So Many Words

The definitive list of trite slogans guaranteed to stop you using condoms...

• Cover your stump before you hump
• Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
• Don’t be silly, protect your Willie
• When in doubt shroud you spout
• Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
• You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong
• If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
• If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey
• It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
• If you slip between her thighs, condomize
• She won’t get sick if you wrap your dick
• If you go into heat, package your meat
• While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
• When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
• Especially in December, gift wrap your member
• Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
• Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
• The right selection, is to protect your erection
• Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
• A crank with armor, will never harm her
• If you really love her, wear a cover
• Don’t make a mistake, cover your snake
• Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
• If you can’t shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket
• No glove, no love
• If you think she’ll sigh, cover old one eye
• Even If she’s eager, protect her beaver
• Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt
• Avoid a frown, contain your clown
• Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam
• Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
• Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
• The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground
• Cloak the joker before you poke her
• Encase that torch before you paint her porch

I've seen this list a couple of times on the internet. It's not my own work, honestly! However, I'll give it a go...

Before you release your man-fat, make sure you wear a cock-hat.

I'll give up there I think. Sorry.

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