Monday, September 6, 2010

Miliband Same Room Shocker Revealed...

The Labour leadership race was thrown into turmoil today by the revelation that Edward "Ed" Miliband and David "David" Miliband have, in the past, shared a room together. The allegations (made by this blog) are reminiscent of the intrigue surrounding William Hague after a similar rumour, on Guido Fawkes (much better) blog, involving Hague (or the "the bummer Hague" as Guido calls him) and a young male special advisor.

However, a political analyst (well, me) has pointed out that the Miliband allegations have added scandal potential given that it has also emerged that the Miliband Brothers are also brothers, sharing as they do the same parents. The Milibands are understood to have shared a room when they lived at home and, on occasion, in hotel rooms when on holiday. The woman, that both men call mother, is a life long member of the Labour party but has said she refuses to vote for either of them in the leadership election. Clear proof that she is aware of their incestuous relationship and doesn't want the party damaged by their sick brother on brother bum love.

The recruitment of Hague's special advisor was questioned when it came to light that he wasn't well qualified for the role. The same concerns are being levelled at the Milibands with regard to their ability to run the Labour party, let alone a country. The similarities between the Hague case and the new Miliband case are numerous and both are equally as likely to be true.

Oooh... fancy a banana?
Earlier in the campaign Ed Miliband was quoted as saying he "loved" his brother and that they were "best friends". These words show their relationship has clearly gone beyond casual sausage hiding between parliamentary votes. David Miliband was also overheard suggesting to his brother that either of them could "lick Balls", a reference to the rumoured equality within their relationship, where they share the role of "taker" equally between themselves - both have made numerous mentions of equality in their public speeches. David Miliband is also renowned for playing suggestively with bananas, even in public. These words and actions were initially considered perfectly innocent, now we know better.

Both Miliband brothers deny having an improper relationship. All of the other leadership candidates refused to comment, apart from Ed Balls, who said "There's nothing wrong with being gay... But I'm not gay, I like girls and sports and DIY".

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