Following David Cameron's appearance on MPs-do-reality television programme, Tower Block of Commons, Gordon Brown has insisted on appearing himself, as soon as possible.
When he heard Cameron had filmed his appearance last week, Brown was overheard passionately asking a member of his staff to arrange an appearance of his own:
"This is a fucking election year you useless turd! If that posh felching sponge gets to pretend to care about these poor bastards on TV, then so should I. Now piss off and shitting well arrange it."
The arrangements were duly made and he is being lined up to spend a day with a gang of youths as they roam the local shopping centre. Brown has already worked out a way to build his credibility with the group of unruly yobs. He's going to share with them his favourite past time - happy slapping.
We have obtained a picture of him yesterday, catching Tessa Jowell (or Tessa Bowel as he insists on calling her "because she's full of shit") up-side the head after she failed to nod approvingly enough during Prime Ministers question time.
It is believed the picture was taken by Peter Mandelson, who eye witnesses claim, was cackling like a demented school girl as Jowell cowered and wept following Brown's assault.