Manchester United Unhappy With Premiership's First Past The Post League System

As Chelsea lift The Premiership title, some of the losers are complaining that the league system in this country isn't fair to teams that lose games. They point out that goals scored in matches that they lose are effectively "wasted" as they don't count towards their points tally. They are calling for reform of the system to provide "Fair Goals".

Two teams are currently in talks about forming a coalition for change. They are Manchester United and Manchester City. Alex Ferguson was asked what this new football combo would be called.

"We took one word from their name, 'Manchester' and one word from our name, 'United", he replied and went on to explain,

"We feel that Chelsea's claim to have won the Premiership is illegitimate. I mean, our new combined points total is 152 compared to Chelsea's 86. We are clearly the winners on this basis".

He went on to demand Chelsea give in to his demand for "Fair Goals" immediately and admit that Manchester United are the real league winners. If Chelsea refuse to give in to Ferguson's demands he says he will pull out of the league, effectively bankrupting it and many of the other teams that are involved. When asked if he was concerned about this he replied,

"Fuck 'em", before walking off for more discussions with league officials, behind closed doors.