Rowan Williams Slams "Undemocratic" Coalition

Williams: "You're unpopular because you don't believe in my God,
you know that don't you?"

Dr Rowan Williams today slammed the coalition government for having no democratic mandate. The God Doc (as he likes to be known) was elected as Archbishop of Canterbury (although not Westminster as he sometimes thinks) by an overwhelming majority of deities (well one, there is only one - and it's his one, not one of the other ridiculous fantasy ones) and his son, who has 3 votes of course. "Just like with the Labour Party leadership elections", he explains. He used his infallible democratic credentials to highlight how the coalition barely received over 50% of the vote at the last election. Not like his 100% of God's and Jesus' votes. And with this pathetic number of votes they have the audacity to attempt to implement reforms. Even after the recent increase in the rate of sacrificial u-turns, the Archbish (as he likes to be known) said he wanted more laid on the alter of his all seeing, all knowing, public sector loving God.

Accident At Work?

God, said Doctor No (as he likes to be known in reference to any policy that isn't left wing), is a good God. A God who likes to see spending far outstrip the income of the government. So much so He has bankrupted heaven 1000 times. He even had to send His Son down once so He could make an "accident at work" claim. He made millions after He proved there were ample signs his Son would come to harm that were ignored by the Jewish and Roman authorities of the day. That money is now gone and there's talk of a rapture happening that would enable God to take possession of all the non-believers stuff and flog it on G-Bay - God's heavenly online auction site.

David Cameron responded politely saying that the Archbishop had every right to his opinions, even if they are the opinions of an out of touch leftist, expressed congruously in the New Statesman.

Ken Clarke was less diplomatic. When the a journalist suggested the one and only God that is real (and better than the other Gods, who are just made up) backs Dr Williams, Clarke blurted "But God is not God - there are lots of different Gods, some more serious than others". He was forced to apologise and drop a couple more reform ideas as penance.

Cameron's Dead Pool

I was going to write a post on the growing need for a cabinet reshuffle where I planned to list the cabinet ministers in the frame to be dropped or moved. However, the excellent Fraser Nelson has done just that in his Coffee House blog. Have a read here: Cameron should cleanse his Cabinet of the undead

Fraser lists includes the same names I has in mind. Here's the list with my reasons for believing they may be in the frame for a move or the boot:

• Chris Huhne - for (allegedly) attempting to avoid speeding penalty points, (allegedly) fiddling his election expenses and disrespecting his cabinet colleagues and party leader
• Ken Clarke - for being more liberal than the Lib Dems on crime and his appallingly clumsy interview re rape
• Vince Cable - self obsessed egotist, too tribal for coalition (with the Tories anyway), enjoys attempting to impress young female consistency surgery visitors with injudicious boasts about his political virility, failing to impress the business community he's supposed to be supporting
• Andrew Lansley - ambitious NHS reforms not convincing key stakeholders or the general public
• Caroline Spelman - trees

I don't necessarily believe all the above deserve the order of the boot but they are probably all feeling more than a tad insecure. For example, Andrew Lansley deserves to see his NHS reforms through. Assuming the Lib Dems don't totally eviscerate the proposals. However, politically he has failed as he has not sold the proposals effectively and so he could be blamed for any resulting damage to them.

The hysteria surrounding Ken Clarke's clumsy comments on rape overshadow a generally poor performance in convincing people his plans regarding crime and punishment are little more than an attempt to reduce the prison population and save money. It's not fair but people believe he is doing little more than continuing Labour's shocking policies that led to the release of thousands of prisoners early. There is more to it than that, but he's not done enough to convince people.

Similarly, Caroline Spelman failed to sell the forestry reforms and came a cropper on the branches of public opinion, that had been much more effectively influenced by left wing groups like the online campaigning site 38 Degrees.

I considered including the sieve like Liam Fox. His courting of the Tory right (through leaking stories that will appeal to them) looks suspiciously like an attempt to build a power base to challenge Cameron. But God knows the coalition needs reminding from time to time that pandering to the left of the Liberal Democrats is not a long term option and that there is a much more significant constituency with broader popular appeal at the other end of the political spectrum.

As for Vince Cable and Chris Huhne, the charge sheet against them is much more serious (especially in Huhne's case). But sacking them is also much more tricky for Cameron who has to juggle the sensitivities of his coalition partners. But act he must. While he rightly dislikes the idea of constantly changing cabinet personnel, as the previous administration was so keen on doing, he has tolerated a little bit too much from some like Huhne and Cable. Failure to punish ineffective ministers may also lead others to relax and lose the drive that they had when they were first elevated to office.

Cameron's administration is a highly ambitious one and needs highly effective ministers to successfully carry through its reform agenda before the administration's political capital runs out.

Picture of the Week

From Friday's Times...

Ken Clarke simulates his cum face at the Tory party conference after describing how he's going to "release thousands of prisoners like spermatozoa over the face of society" - It didn't go down at all well.